Happy New Years!!!!

It is almost here..... a new year! This last year has been so wonderful. It has been filled with growth, love, friendship, relationships, hurts, and healing. Overall.... amazing. I have learned so much about myself as a person, wife, and mother. I can't believe how much my little Hannah has grown. She is such a little person, and it has been so great being home with her everyday and watching her grow. The different challenges that Jacob and I faced this year were so unique to the season of life that we are in, it has been great being to depend on each other and grow with each other. I really feel that my walk with the Lord has really grown as well. I have not been as faithful in the word as I would like, I do confess, but I really feel that the Lord has been confirming his love for me, even when I am not so faithful.

I really can't wait to see what this next has for me. I am so excited to add to our family. I have to admit that I am a little nervous about having another Baby. I worry about not making enough time for Hannah and how the heck am I going to get up every 3 hours again. But just like how I am feeling now, very sick, and God's grace still covers me to get through it, I know that I will make it.

aaaaQQ1A1 WAAAasXSx~!xx`s1A !`

That was from Hannah, she is excited too (future blogger).

So here are a couple of Goals that I have set for myself this next year.

1. Put God first- spend quality time with him- stay in the word- if I can facebook every day there is no excuse

2. Family Time- to make it a priority especially with the new baby on the way

3. Keep it Clean- to keep my house clean and organized- it really helps the family function better, but to not obsess about it

4. Friends- try not to be such a home body and get out and actually have "Girl Time"

5. Play date for Hannah- to keep her busy building relations with friends

6. Work- to keep up on work, stay focused

7. Plan out our Meals- easier said than done- and healthier meals too

8. Date Nights- to try to have a date night at least once a month

9. Work on our debit- we spend so much money, I really want to get a good saving going this year

10. Have a BABY!!!!!- enjoy the time with our new baby

Happy New Years! Wish me luck- hopefully I will be feeling better soon, that would make it so much easier to accomplish this.

Growing our Family

We are pregnant! Well, I am :) I am so excited that the Lord has blessed our family with another baby. We found out about a month ago, and waited to surprise the family for Christmas, and also to make sure everything was going well. It was a success. The family was blown away and the Lord has been so faithful. This new little baby is growing strong. I am 8 1/2 weeks, and due 8.6.11 I have been just dying to share with all my friends and family. But being pregnant with the second is so different. Between being horribly sick and chasing Hannah around I barely have a moment to remember. Well, I am so excited for the new chapter that the Lord has opened for us, and for Hannah too. She will be a Big Sister.

Tis the season

Remembering the real meaning of Christmas..... this is the verse the Lord has been putting on my heart.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

He is calling me to slow down, take time to be thankful, and enjoy the blessings that He has already given me. Even if He didn't give or do anything else for me, it has already been enough.

Suprise!

Last week Jacob turned 30. I wanted to do something really special for him, but I did not plan well. I ended up throwing together a surprise dessert. I am so thankful for all the friends and family that was able to share with us.

The cake was pretty sad too, but for sugar free, it tasted pretty good.

Hannah got to spend some time with her buddy Riley. They are so cute together. I am so thankful to have Jenni, Joey and Riley close now. It is really great to share with another mommy the ups and downs of motherhood.

All in all this last two weeks have been super busy. Tis the season right..... I really don't want the rest of this Christmas season to fly right by me without enjoying it. I am really going to try to make the time to S L O W down and really enjoy these moments that I have with Jacob and Hannah. My family means so much to me, I really am blessed. The other day I sent Jacob a text while he was at work, saying sorry for being a bad wife lately, I have been so busy some days we go almost all day without spending any time together. And his response was so God ordained that it brought me to tears. He said, "every morning I look at you and Hannah while you are sleeping, and I thank God. Because he truly does give good and perfect gifts" That meant so much to me, and to really take the focus off of giving the best Christmas gift, because God has already given us good and perfect gifts, sometimes we just someone to point them out to us.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Giving Thanks

I have been such a slacker on Blogging and Facebook these last couple of weeks. But I have been out and about with my lil Hannah more. I have really been cherishing my time with her. We had a couple of park dates, which are great, one to get out of the house, two to talk with other mommies, and three for Hannah to socialize with other kids and build friendships of her own. It has been so much fun watching her interact with different kids, she really responds differently to each one.

Hannah and Drew

I love this little face!

Hannah and Sawyer

We went on a little date of our own to the RSM lake. Hannah just ran around on the grassy area and watched the ducks. I really am so thankful to God for blessing us with Hannah. She really makes my heart melt, and I cannot thank him enough for filling the missing piece in her that was Hannah shaped.

This was random from last Sunday in the truck. She was so happy, I couldn't help but take her picture.

I do wonder what she thinks when she plays. Like the other day, she pushed a toy around in her baby stroller, took it to her "car" (walker) and then pushed around the car, all while babbling in Hannah. I love it. And I am so very Thankful for God's timing in giving us Hannah. I am so very thankful that I get to work from home and be with her all day. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Gobble Gobble........

This year I hosted Thanksgiving. I should have remembered how much work it is and let someone else offer. But it did turn out really great. I am so very Thankful for the great time I did have with the family. The kids had a great time, we ate entirely too much food and I worried about if the house was clean enough... which nobody even seemed to notice. I am very Thankful for the family that I have. I was not able to be with my own family, but God gave me a great second family. Jacobs family really is a blessing to be around. I love that even when the kitchen flooded and the turkey was "undercooked, but really just cooked" there was no freak outs. It is so different from my family. There really is no stress, but me. I really don't want to be a stress bucket anymore either. And the one BIG thing that God was sharing with me this Thanksgiving was a small verse that is before one of my favorite Thanksgiving verses that I guess I have overlooked so many times before:

1 Thessalonians 5:14-17

And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be PATIENT with EVERYONE. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I especially know that God has given this to me because I think he was using my husband to strengthen me in this. Honey, I love you! And I love that our only family pic this year on Thanksgiving, You are eating Hannah's hair, she is crying and I never did my hair. I love my crazy life, it is truly a blend of challenge and fun.

All in all, I am going to try to spend more time counting my blessings, and being Thankful in everything, working on my patients. I love my God, my family.....everything else is just a bonus. I am so thankful that I don't need money to be happy. You cannot buy this moment of a tired little girl falling asleep like this in her bed today, kissing her toes.

Happy Birthday Hannah

And two became three.

One year ago, I started one of the best adventures of my life. I became a mother. After years of waiting for God's timing, And months of growing, and hours of labor and pushing. November 6, 2009 Hannah Grace Masciave was born. I can truly appreciate how wonderfully we are made. Even after being born, Hannah was not alive. She was not breathing when she was born. God truly breathed life into her, and she became alive. And has not stopped since. I am so thankful for her everyday, and cannot imagine life without her. She made me a Mom, and a better person. This seriously has been the fastest year of my life. It was also the best.... so far. I cannot wait to see how you grow in the next year. I love you so much.

I love you when you are sleeping, holding your blankie so tightly. I love you when you are taking all of the towels out of the closet because you are "helping" mommy. I love you when you are "reading" your books, and you talk in "hannah". I love you when you drop a toy and you Ut (Ut Oh). I love you when you push all the toys and laundry baskets to one side of the room. I love you when you walk as fast as you can to meet me on the other side of the room for a kiss. I love you when you need to comfort you. I love you every minute of the day, and even before I knew you. I thank God for entrusting me as your mommy and giving you to me.

Hannah had a great time at her party. She loved opening presents more than I thought she would. She had lots of help from Violet.
Papa Tim got her, her first bike. She loved it and was hamming it up for pictures. She has been pushing the bike around our house. I love it! It reminds me of my bike. I can't wait for her to ride it. She will be the Sky Princess.
Hannah wasn't a huge fan of my cake. But that is ok, less sugar and no tummy ache is ok in my book. I did enjoy making it for her, even with the first cake flipping over in the oven and burning my arm.....she is so worth it.
I am so thankful that the family was able to come out for the Birthday. It really means a lot to me that they would come so far to celebrate Hannah with us.

more pictures of the peoples we love.

she just loves books so much.

We decided to go to breakfast to celebrate as a family before the party. It was so perfect to have that hour of family time before the chaos began of setting up a party. Hannah really seemed to enjoy it too. She loves eating pancakes!

B.F.F.

Hannah and Karli will always be BFF. Even a state and six hours cannot separate them. I love that when they saw each other after two weeks apart, they started playing and smiling. They truly love one another. I am so thankful that at such an early age in this crazy world, they will have each other. To share the happy times and the tears. To encourage and sharpen.

I have often thought about the miscarriages that I have had. What was I suppose to learn, or why did I have them..... I can now appreciate that it might not have been just for me. But if I would have had Hannah 3 years ago, she would not such a great friend Karli, and I her mom Lauren. What a great season, appointed by God.

Happy First Birthday!

Psalm 23

This Priority challenge that I gave myself has been a little more difficult that I had thought. I have been doing well with less TV, but with the extra time on my hands it has been hard to get motivated. The time that I am investing with the Lord has definitely been great. I have been soaking up Psalm 23. I am taking it line by line, everyday. And also reading Traveling Light by Max Lucado. I was drawn back to Psalm 23 when I was looking from guidance from the Lord on leading our Life Group. When we did our last leaders meeting, Dan and Peggy had encouraged us with this. So I thought it would be appropriate to start there, so I did. Later that week, I had gone to the Library in search of a new book to read. I don't think I have read anything other than Mommy material since I have had Hannah. This book had jumped out at me, and what is it on.... Psalm 23. I think God is trying to teach me something.

We had a great week all in all. We went out and Voted as a family. So special. Hannah even got a sticker!

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name sake.

Even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me,

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

Priority Challenge

I am not too sure what we did last week. It was just another one of those weeks where work, Hannah and getting the house picked up took over. We did have a family night out to the park. That was a blast for Jacob to see Hannah playing at the jungle gym. She loved to crawl through the tunnels, and go down the slide. She finally likes to go on the swings now too. I love watching her explore. She loves to test out everything, she is quite adventurous.

Halloween in tomorrow, and I feel like such a bum. I only watched the last ten mins of Peanuts last night, the pumpkins are not carved, and I still am not sure what to be. I hadn't thought about dressing up, but I think it would be fun to be something. We are going to be serving the community giving out full size candy bars, and hot cocoa. We have done it every year since we moved down here. I really enjoy the fellowship, and it is nice to be out but not have any agenda. Oh well, I guess it will all work out, and if not..... its only Halloween.

I discovered how much I love vinegar today. I bought the jumbo tub of it. I don't really care for the smell, but it is amazing at cleaning. Our dish washer has been leaving a nasty film on all our dishes. I have used vinegar to clean the dishwasher before so I thought I would try it out on some of the dishes too. And let me tell you.... AMAZING. It was like magic, it took all the film off and made my glass sparkle like now. I am convinced that I will not be buying any more cleaners, aside from bleach and vinegar. I am already not a fan of chemicals, especially around Hannah. You never know how much your body absorbs when taking a shower, or breathing it in. So yay for Vinegar.

Today I also got to be a "Single Mom". And as much fun as I have with Hannah, she is so exhausting. We went to Target, a Birthday Party, went to work and then to church all today. I love her so much and really do cherish all the time that I have with her, but I do love when Jacob gets home from work, or church and spends time with her. He plays with her so well and is awesome at bath time. It is so nice for me to take those little breaks too. Being a mom can be very exhausting, and I could easily get burnt out. I sometimes feel so bad about the amount of time that I am with her, but not playing with her. She is very independent and plays very well by herself. And I do have to work, try to keep up on the house, maintain friendships too, and I do sometimes feel that I do have quality time with her. I am very thankful that I do get to at least work from home, and that I am not putting her in a daycare.

All of that being said, I think that I am going to challenge my self to Prioritize and Organize what is really important in my life. I know that I can check up on facebook about 100 times a day, but I can't stop and read a quick book to Hannah. (we just got a library card, and LOVE it) So I think that this next week, I will make the things that I really want invested in my life a Priority, and everything else can just flow around, or be cut out. Here is what I am thinking.....

1. Time in the word.- spending time with the Lord daily- in prayer, the word, and just inviting his presence

2. Jacob- poor guy- by the time he gets home from work and we eat and put Hannah off to bed, we are in robot mode :( so I guess to break free from the daily routines

3. Hannah- to spend quality time together- just taking a little bit of time out of the routine and read a book, go for a walk, do something together everyday

4. Work- I have to work- but I can get up early- or stay up late- when everyone is sleeping and get the majority of my work done

5. Friends- Sorry friends, but you are #5- getting out with other mommies is very important

Things I need less of:

Facebook- I check it ALL day long- maybe I need to move the app from my phone

TV- I don't watch a lot, but when I get lazy, it sucks me in

Housework- it doesn't have to be perfect

I guess what it all comes down to is spending my time with the ones that I love and not to stress about the work, and what everyone else is doing too.

Wish me Luck!

Rain Rain Rain

So this last week and half we have had an abundance of rain and cold chilly weather. I have been enjoying this change so much. Hannah and I have just kinda laid low and I have just enjoyed spending quality time with my little munchkin. The only down side to this weather is lack of exercise and lots of spontaneous baking.....so what was the downside, oh the 4 extra pounds I put on. Oh well, I know when we get moving again I will make better choices and they will come off, hopefully.

We had fun playing dress up and just taking some random pictures. We would start to watch movies, she didn't have much of an attention span. And played, and read books, she can understand so much. We have so much fun together. I can't believe that my baby is almost one! What an amazing year. I feel so blessed to be her mommy and I thank God everyday for her.

Jacob and Hannah sported there USC gear to cheer them on last weeks game. She lovers her Daddy so much. I love the way that she just looks at him. He can make her laugh so hard.

Her little personality is growing and changing every day. She climbed into her Hippo walker, and sat in it. A couple of days later, she was just kicking back putting her feet up in it.

And nothing is off limits now, she is such a climber. I think she was building a fort, or a tower to get up on the couch. She will just play all day long, even I don't even play with her. I can't believe how much she understands. She loves playing with her baby doll and knocking down a tower that I build with her stacking cups. She is so much fun, she sparkles a little bit of color in my day, just like her daddy does. I cherish all these fleeting moments with her, until next time.

Hello Fall...

I am so thankful for the Fall. I love this season, especially because I get to share it with my lil Hannah. I can't believe that she is almost one.

She has been learning to use a spoon and feed herself.

She is very independent. She loves to do things herself. And she is such a ham, she loves to pose for the camera.

We got to share in BFF day with Rebecca and Natalie on Monday. We went to Disneyland. It was warm, but fun. It was our first trip without daddy, we missed him, but he had to work. Hannah only lasted two rides, but they were fun. That is the joy of having a pass, I can't image trying to go all day with her.

Awww Mom's Group. This last week it was at the Pumpkin Patch in Irvine. And after all this time we finally got a good pic of together, Lauren I am going to miss you dearly! What a great time of fellowship and time with Hannah. I loved it. Hannah on the other hand, she is afraid of pumpkins.....I love that she is her own little person.

She road the fake horse.

We looked by the "mine" and watched the waterfall.

Watch me Grow.... it took us about 15min to get her to stand by this, just over 2ft tall.

I love this! Such a gift.

I am so glad that I got to have such a great week with all the great mommies. I really do feel so blessed to have so many great people to spend time with during the week. I count my blessings daily, a perfect season to reflect on the things that I am thankful for.

here there and in between

This last week and a half has been filled with such ups and downs.....take today for example, I wanted to get caught up on the house, and work. I set my alarm for 5am to get up before my lil Hannah so I can spend quaility time with her today, but did she let me....NO. She set her alarm for 4am, after trying for about an hour to put her back to sleep, I gave up and let her play for about an hour.

She finally gave up and crashed. Note: it took three attempts to lay her down before she went back to sleep in her bed.

This last week has been so draining for me. Last Thursday Hannah got the stomach flu.... NO FUN! She woke up at 11:30pm vomiting. She didn't stop until almost 3:30am. Poor thing! It was the saddest thing ever. I felt terrible for her. I am proud of myself looking back, I didn't panic, I just reacted. It completely wiped her out for the last 5 days. She is finally on the up and up. It was really draining because Jacob got it too. To a certain extent, it was almost worst having him sick than Hannah. When I would put Hannah down for a nap or to bed, she would sleep, in her bed, all night. Jacob on the other hand, didn't, and he was next to me, and noisy.

Taking care of two sickies was no fun. But I am very thankful that I didn't' get sick.

I have also been on such an emotional roller coaster ride. My dearest friend of the last 18months or so Lauren, is moving to AZ. This is the saddest thing ever for me. It has taken me 5 years of living down here in RSM to find a friend as close and Lauren. We have shared so many great memories I am just not ready to let her go. I know that it is for the best, she and her family will have such a great opportunity out there. I just love her so much, it makes my heart so sad. There are so very few friends out there that I connect with on this level that there are no words. She brought me lunch and visited me regularly when I was on bedrest with Hannah. We would walk the lake all the time during pregnancy and after. The 4hour mall trips where we would spend almost the entire time, the the nursing lounge or eating yummy brownies ;) Or just sitting around and doing absolutely nothing together. Lauren my friend, you are such a great mommy and wife and friend.... I LOVE you and will miss you daily.

On the other hand, I have a dear friend Jennie Adkins that is moving back to Ca. I am super excited for that. We had so much fun going out the NV to visit a week ago. It was Hannah's first road trip.

The drive out was horrible.... so much traffic. We ended up stopping and getting a hotel. We got up early and hit the road again. I love desert sunrises.

Once we got out there, it was great. Great time hanging out and the babies played great together too!

The drive home was pretty much the same as the drive out there.... lots of traffic!

Hannah did great on the drive home too!

This is Hannah just being cute with her sippy. Thank you Aunt Becky! You have given so much to my lil Hannah, we think of you daily.

Well, its a new day. I love the rain, and my lil one just woke up. Time to start it all over again. Lord give me strength for this day. Until next time.

Eating through the pantry...

My life lessons.... just being real.

So when funds get a little tight we start to cut back. A couple of weeks ago things got really tight. Our budget only allowed for about$20 worth of groceries, what can you buy for with $20 worth of groceries.... not a whole lot. We started to eat through the cupboards. I was surprised what I could make with the food that I already had (note: it wasn't always the healthiest or tastiest but it worked). And the bonus was that we stuck to our little budget buying only fresh foods.

It is amazing how creative we have been with our finances since having Hannah. We have stopping taking the Toll Roads, cut out our Out to Eat budget, I started making all of Hannah's food, and I even temporally wearing makeup (I ran out and it was out of the budget). One thing that I did also cut out, was our tithe. I am not proud that I did this. When push came to shove, my faith was too small, and I had bills to pay. I had my tithe check written, but when I forgot to give it, I used the money in the account to pay another bill. That was not wise. It got pretty bad... we had to eat through our cupboards. I was evident that our fiancees were not blessed. After hearing an amazing testimony from Life Group on Tuesday, I got paid on Wednesday, and the first thing that I did was tithe, thank you to online giving.

Malachi 3:10
Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.

Boy is God Faithful!!!! I think it went right up to him.. :) He did bless the rest of what we have, and even gave Jacob a little extra in commission.

I don't know why sometimes I have to learn the same principles over and over again. I did graduate from High School with honors and straight A's. But it seems to be the life stuff that I just don't get some times. I guess that is where testing comes in, and GOD is ALWAYS FAITHFUL. He always has and always will be.

Even when Jacob was diagnosed with Diabetes and we had so many medical bills that we were sent to collections and before we got our first collection served to us, God provided us with a $10,000 check from Jacob winning a sales contest.

The bottom line, he knows our needs and knows what I can handle, and it is a daily thing being brought back into alignment with him.

Money aside. Happy Fall! I am so excited for this season. Here is my list why.

pumpkin bread

hot chocolate

sweaters

scarfs

boots

cuddling in bed

watching the rain

candles

baking

thanksgiving

and best of all

celebrating Hannah!

I love the change of seasons. It is like being able to have a new start. New chapter. Here is making the most of the Fall.

Story of Hannah

I have been wanting to get a journal and write a on-going letter to Hannah. I still have not found the right one yet, and worried that I might forget some of the milestones that she has accomplished, I am going to start it on my blog, and then journal to her will soon follow.

Dear Hannah,

You became a you. The day that I found out that I had you in my tummy, was one of the happiest days of my life. And God has been richly blessing me ever sense. I have prayed for you and over you for three long years. And through loss and heart ache, I longed for you. I knew that my life would not be complete without you. You will always hold a special place in my heart, you are my first child and you made me a mom.

So the short story of the pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant with you on March 17, 2009, St. Patrick's Day. I told Daddy that we were pregnant and we both were so excited. I went to the doctors the next day. He said I was very early but you were in there. After lots of waiting, and blood work, the Dr. put me on hormones and the sickness began. For the record I still cannot eat pork, that was the last thing that made me horribly sick, and I want to gag just thinking of pork right now.....When we found out you were going to be a Hannah, we were so excited! We went to Don Joses to celebrate, and talk names. I had a pretty normal pregnacy until about week, 29-30, when you decided that you wanted come out....well kinda. I had early labor, and regular contractions every 10-30 mins for the next 6 weeks until you were born. This was so stinky, I was on bed rest and had to take medication that made me jittery. Anytime I would get up and walk or move, they would get worst, and I would feel sick. I did have lots of company while I was bed rest and was forced to skip the whole nesting thing too. I pre

tty much just got to eat and gain weight, which Lauren encouraged by bringing me KFC and Taco Bell almost every other day.

Your arrival. At 36 weeks the Dr. said it would be safe if you were born, so I was able to come off bed rest and stop taking the medication. I went in for an exam November 5 and you checked out ok. After being off the medication I was exhausted, I was having contractions every 7-10 mins, but still no Hannah. At 440 am November 6, I woke up and went to the couch to try to

get more sleep because of all regular contractions, when I noticed that you were not moving. I did the stress test as the Dr. said to, and still nothing. Finally I got one little move from you, but by then I had already called the Dr. and he said to go to the hospital. We arrived at 5am, without calling anyone. I was a wreck, I cried the entire way to the hospital thinking that something had happened to you. The ER guy wheeled me up to the Labor and Delivery, and I was soon hooked up to the monitors. BUMB BUMB..... I heard your heart beating. It was the single most perfect sound I have ever heard and I will never forget that moment. After being watched by the nurses, my Dr finally came and checked all the readings on the machines and said well, you are going to have a baby and broke my water. Labor had begun. I did the epidural , but had a rear reaction to it, where it pretty much didn't work. After being in labor for 16 hours, and 2 long hours of pushing, you had made your arrival.

LIFE. You made it into the world, but not breathing. The hospital had the NICU staff waiting for you, I guess they knew that something was wrong after all the stress that you had been under. It took about 20 mins after you were born, but you were finally breathing on your own. Thankfully they did all the work on you in the room, and your little cry, the sweetest thing. It was about two hours after were born you were placed in my arms, I was complete. It is amazing how fragile life really is, and what a miracle you really are. If there is ever a question if God answers prayers, I can say with confidence YES. You are my living miracle, my answer to prayer.

The Now. I love every moment that we share together. I love all your Hannah' isms... that you love to PLAY, PLAY, PLAY. and that you love to explore and touch walls. That your Daddy can make you laugh like nobody can. You love to climb, and touch our head board in our bed. You love to be outdoors. Your scrunched nose and cheese face. That you babble on all day and call yourself Nana. You love feet.. and shoes and putting your hands in peoples mouths...yuck. That you love taking a bath, though you haven't always. You took forever to sit up, but less than a month and a half later you started crawling, and just last week you took your first two steps. Time has truly flown by.

I feel this is a good start for now.

Love,

Mommy