Emotions. Yesterday I had about the most emotional day I have had in a very long time. A very dear friend of my lost her unborn child. It is so hard to think of the pain and the suffering of carrying a child for 5 months and not get to keep her. Baby Abigail went to be with the Lord yesterday. Baby Abigail had very server under heart developments, my friend was strongly urged to terminate the pregnancy. Yesterday she went in and did just that. It is just so beyond me that a Dr can even give you the choice to do that. Being pregnant myself, my heart just hurts for the loss of my friend and Baby Abigail. I know that she is now made whole with Jesus rejoicing in heaven with my unborn babies. But the pain is still there. I prayed and prayed that Jesus would heal her little heart. And that the Dr's would see something different.
It began to challenge my faith. Why did God not answer? I know he could. I know that he could heal her and bring her parents to Jesus. I know that she was not conceived without purpose. But Why?
Last weeks service that Ryan did was so appointed by God, especially for me. He spoke on disappointment, and that God does not disappoint. He cannot miss an appointment. That in the path of life, we have to chose to stay on course, to pick ourselves up and keep on going. That is exactly how I feel right now. I have to just keep on going. I know that God did not miss an appointment with Baby Abigail, he just welcomed her home.
My day had started off good. I went for an amazing walk with my dear friend Cori. It was just beautiful going on the trail behind her house, and the conversation too, amazing. Then the day just started to go downhill, I took Hannah back to the Dr to see if her bladder infection had cleared, and the Dr found a bad ear infection. We were there for over an hour waiting for Hannah to pee in the bag. Finally we came home and ate lunch, Hannah and I took a quick nap then it was back to Work and to get her prescription filled. On our way out of the parking lot, my car died. In the middle of the street, at a light. And I cried. Jacob came and got me and Hannah and my work sent a tow truck.
The the stuff of the day really took my eyes off the Lord. It made me a wreck and let all the emotions of me take over. Was it really terrible that the car broke down....no. Or that sweet Baby Abigail went home with the Lord, yet painful she was still purposed. After all, isn't being home with the Lord our HOPE. I pray that today my focus would be on that HOPE. He has a purpose, he has a plan, he does redeem.
Playing at the Lake with Daddy. We had some really good weather a couple weekends ago, recently it has been raining and cold. I am looking forward to the change of seasons. I do really enjoy the rain, but I have found that I really do enjoy change. The warmer weather will be nice so we can do more outdoors again.
We went to a birthday party a couple of weekends ago. It was cowgirl themed and they had pony rides. So Hannah had her first Pony ride, as you can tell it didn't go so well. She was fine until they strapped her in.
She loves to do things just like mommy. Like wear my glasses or pretend to work. Her little personality has really bloomed the last couple of weeks. She really does love to pretend. She will pretend to pour a cup of water and drink it, or talk on the phone, or play with her babies. She is still babbling not much in the talking department, but don't let her fool you she does understand just about everything.
We went to the park the other day. In between the rain I took the opportunity to get out of the house and let her burn off some energy. I can't wait to have this next one, our little family will just have more fun as we become more complete.
