Rain Rain Rain

So this last week and half we have had an abundance of rain and cold chilly weather. I have been enjoying this change so much. Hannah and I have just kinda laid low and I have just enjoyed spending quality time with my little munchkin. The only down side to this weather is lack of exercise and lots of spontaneous baking.....so what was the downside, oh the 4 extra pounds I put on. Oh well, I know when we get moving again I will make better choices and they will come off, hopefully.

We had fun playing dress up and just taking some random pictures. We would start to watch movies, she didn't have much of an attention span. And played, and read books, she can understand so much. We have so much fun together. I can't believe that my baby is almost one! What an amazing year. I feel so blessed to be her mommy and I thank God everyday for her.

Jacob and Hannah sported there USC gear to cheer them on last weeks game. She lovers her Daddy so much. I love the way that she just looks at him. He can make her laugh so hard.

Her little personality is growing and changing every day. She climbed into her Hippo walker, and sat in it. A couple of days later, she was just kicking back putting her feet up in it.

And nothing is off limits now, she is such a climber. I think she was building a fort, or a tower to get up on the couch. She will just play all day long, even I don't even play with her. I can't believe how much she understands. She loves playing with her baby doll and knocking down a tower that I build with her stacking cups. She is so much fun, she sparkles a little bit of color in my day, just like her daddy does. I cherish all these fleeting moments with her, until next time.

Hello Fall...

I am so thankful for the Fall. I love this season, especially because I get to share it with my lil Hannah. I can't believe that she is almost one.

She has been learning to use a spoon and feed herself.

She is very independent. She loves to do things herself. And she is such a ham, she loves to pose for the camera.

We got to share in BFF day with Rebecca and Natalie on Monday. We went to Disneyland. It was warm, but fun. It was our first trip without daddy, we missed him, but he had to work. Hannah only lasted two rides, but they were fun. That is the joy of having a pass, I can't image trying to go all day with her.

Awww Mom's Group. This last week it was at the Pumpkin Patch in Irvine. And after all this time we finally got a good pic of together, Lauren I am going to miss you dearly! What a great time of fellowship and time with Hannah. I loved it. Hannah on the other hand, she is afraid of pumpkins.....I love that she is her own little person.

She road the fake horse.

We looked by the "mine" and watched the waterfall.

Watch me Grow.... it took us about 15min to get her to stand by this, just over 2ft tall.

I love this! Such a gift.

I am so glad that I got to have such a great week with all the great mommies. I really do feel so blessed to have so many great people to spend time with during the week. I count my blessings daily, a perfect season to reflect on the things that I am thankful for.

here there and in between

This last week and a half has been filled with such ups and downs.....take today for example, I wanted to get caught up on the house, and work. I set my alarm for 5am to get up before my lil Hannah so I can spend quaility time with her today, but did she let me....NO. She set her alarm for 4am, after trying for about an hour to put her back to sleep, I gave up and let her play for about an hour.

She finally gave up and crashed. Note: it took three attempts to lay her down before she went back to sleep in her bed.

This last week has been so draining for me. Last Thursday Hannah got the stomach flu.... NO FUN! She woke up at 11:30pm vomiting. She didn't stop until almost 3:30am. Poor thing! It was the saddest thing ever. I felt terrible for her. I am proud of myself looking back, I didn't panic, I just reacted. It completely wiped her out for the last 5 days. She is finally on the up and up. It was really draining because Jacob got it too. To a certain extent, it was almost worst having him sick than Hannah. When I would put Hannah down for a nap or to bed, she would sleep, in her bed, all night. Jacob on the other hand, didn't, and he was next to me, and noisy.

Taking care of two sickies was no fun. But I am very thankful that I didn't' get sick.

I have also been on such an emotional roller coaster ride. My dearest friend of the last 18months or so Lauren, is moving to AZ. This is the saddest thing ever for me. It has taken me 5 years of living down here in RSM to find a friend as close and Lauren. We have shared so many great memories I am just not ready to let her go. I know that it is for the best, she and her family will have such a great opportunity out there. I just love her so much, it makes my heart so sad. There are so very few friends out there that I connect with on this level that there are no words. She brought me lunch and visited me regularly when I was on bedrest with Hannah. We would walk the lake all the time during pregnancy and after. The 4hour mall trips where we would spend almost the entire time, the the nursing lounge or eating yummy brownies ;) Or just sitting around and doing absolutely nothing together. Lauren my friend, you are such a great mommy and wife and friend.... I LOVE you and will miss you daily.

On the other hand, I have a dear friend Jennie Adkins that is moving back to Ca. I am super excited for that. We had so much fun going out the NV to visit a week ago. It was Hannah's first road trip.

The drive out was horrible.... so much traffic. We ended up stopping and getting a hotel. We got up early and hit the road again. I love desert sunrises.

Once we got out there, it was great. Great time hanging out and the babies played great together too!

The drive home was pretty much the same as the drive out there.... lots of traffic!

Hannah did great on the drive home too!

This is Hannah just being cute with her sippy. Thank you Aunt Becky! You have given so much to my lil Hannah, we think of you daily.

Well, its a new day. I love the rain, and my lil one just woke up. Time to start it all over again. Lord give me strength for this day. Until next time.

Eating through the pantry...

My life lessons.... just being real.

So when funds get a little tight we start to cut back. A couple of weeks ago things got really tight. Our budget only allowed for about$20 worth of groceries, what can you buy for with $20 worth of groceries.... not a whole lot. We started to eat through the cupboards. I was surprised what I could make with the food that I already had (note: it wasn't always the healthiest or tastiest but it worked). And the bonus was that we stuck to our little budget buying only fresh foods.

It is amazing how creative we have been with our finances since having Hannah. We have stopping taking the Toll Roads, cut out our Out to Eat budget, I started making all of Hannah's food, and I even temporally wearing makeup (I ran out and it was out of the budget). One thing that I did also cut out, was our tithe. I am not proud that I did this. When push came to shove, my faith was too small, and I had bills to pay. I had my tithe check written, but when I forgot to give it, I used the money in the account to pay another bill. That was not wise. It got pretty bad... we had to eat through our cupboards. I was evident that our fiancees were not blessed. After hearing an amazing testimony from Life Group on Tuesday, I got paid on Wednesday, and the first thing that I did was tithe, thank you to online giving.

Malachi 3:10
Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.

Boy is God Faithful!!!! I think it went right up to him.. :) He did bless the rest of what we have, and even gave Jacob a little extra in commission.

I don't know why sometimes I have to learn the same principles over and over again. I did graduate from High School with honors and straight A's. But it seems to be the life stuff that I just don't get some times. I guess that is where testing comes in, and GOD is ALWAYS FAITHFUL. He always has and always will be.

Even when Jacob was diagnosed with Diabetes and we had so many medical bills that we were sent to collections and before we got our first collection served to us, God provided us with a $10,000 check from Jacob winning a sales contest.

The bottom line, he knows our needs and knows what I can handle, and it is a daily thing being brought back into alignment with him.

Money aside. Happy Fall! I am so excited for this season. Here is my list why.

pumpkin bread

hot chocolate

sweaters

scarfs

boots

cuddling in bed

watching the rain

candles

baking

thanksgiving

and best of all

celebrating Hannah!

I love the change of seasons. It is like being able to have a new start. New chapter. Here is making the most of the Fall.

Story of Hannah

I have been wanting to get a journal and write a on-going letter to Hannah. I still have not found the right one yet, and worried that I might forget some of the milestones that she has accomplished, I am going to start it on my blog, and then journal to her will soon follow.

Dear Hannah,

You became a you. The day that I found out that I had you in my tummy, was one of the happiest days of my life. And God has been richly blessing me ever sense. I have prayed for you and over you for three long years. And through loss and heart ache, I longed for you. I knew that my life would not be complete without you. You will always hold a special place in my heart, you are my first child and you made me a mom.

So the short story of the pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant with you on March 17, 2009, St. Patrick's Day. I told Daddy that we were pregnant and we both were so excited. I went to the doctors the next day. He said I was very early but you were in there. After lots of waiting, and blood work, the Dr. put me on hormones and the sickness began. For the record I still cannot eat pork, that was the last thing that made me horribly sick, and I want to gag just thinking of pork right now.....When we found out you were going to be a Hannah, we were so excited! We went to Don Joses to celebrate, and talk names. I had a pretty normal pregnacy until about week, 29-30, when you decided that you wanted come out....well kinda. I had early labor, and regular contractions every 10-30 mins for the next 6 weeks until you were born. This was so stinky, I was on bed rest and had to take medication that made me jittery. Anytime I would get up and walk or move, they would get worst, and I would feel sick. I did have lots of company while I was bed rest and was forced to skip the whole nesting thing too. I pre

tty much just got to eat and gain weight, which Lauren encouraged by bringing me KFC and Taco Bell almost every other day.

Your arrival. At 36 weeks the Dr. said it would be safe if you were born, so I was able to come off bed rest and stop taking the medication. I went in for an exam November 5 and you checked out ok. After being off the medication I was exhausted, I was having contractions every 7-10 mins, but still no Hannah. At 440 am November 6, I woke up and went to the couch to try to

get more sleep because of all regular contractions, when I noticed that you were not moving. I did the stress test as the Dr. said to, and still nothing. Finally I got one little move from you, but by then I had already called the Dr. and he said to go to the hospital. We arrived at 5am, without calling anyone. I was a wreck, I cried the entire way to the hospital thinking that something had happened to you. The ER guy wheeled me up to the Labor and Delivery, and I was soon hooked up to the monitors. BUMB BUMB..... I heard your heart beating. It was the single most perfect sound I have ever heard and I will never forget that moment. After being watched by the nurses, my Dr finally came and checked all the readings on the machines and said well, you are going to have a baby and broke my water. Labor had begun. I did the epidural , but had a rear reaction to it, where it pretty much didn't work. After being in labor for 16 hours, and 2 long hours of pushing, you had made your arrival.

LIFE. You made it into the world, but not breathing. The hospital had the NICU staff waiting for you, I guess they knew that something was wrong after all the stress that you had been under. It took about 20 mins after you were born, but you were finally breathing on your own. Thankfully they did all the work on you in the room, and your little cry, the sweetest thing. It was about two hours after were born you were placed in my arms, I was complete. It is amazing how fragile life really is, and what a miracle you really are. If there is ever a question if God answers prayers, I can say with confidence YES. You are my living miracle, my answer to prayer.

The Now. I love every moment that we share together. I love all your Hannah' isms... that you love to PLAY, PLAY, PLAY. and that you love to explore and touch walls. That your Daddy can make you laugh like nobody can. You love to climb, and touch our head board in our bed. You love to be outdoors. Your scrunched nose and cheese face. That you babble on all day and call yourself Nana. You love feet.. and shoes and putting your hands in peoples mouths...yuck. That you love taking a bath, though you haven't always. You took forever to sit up, but less than a month and a half later you started crawling, and just last week you took your first two steps. Time has truly flown by.

I feel this is a good start for now.

Love,

Mommy

I'm back.....maybe

Well, after looking at my blog, I am not a very good blogger. It looks like I only update it once a year or so. I will try to work on that.

In a nutshell..... this last year has truly been the best year of my life! I am a mommy! And love every second of it. Hannah Grace Masciave was born last November 6th at 8:59pm. It was a rough pregnancy with lots of medication and bed-rest, and an even harder delivery, (she was sunny side up, with the cord around her neck twice). After lots of work from the amazing doctors and nursing at Mission Hospital she was breathing on her own and thankfully did not have to go to ICU. It took a while to get used to, and try to figure out this whole mom thing. But 10 months later here we are, we are surviving and I think doing pretty good. She is just so amazing, she has such a little personality, a perfect blend of Jacob and I. I love seeing what she is going to learn or do, everyday it is something new. She is now crawling and attempting to walk, she has already taken two steps on two separate occasions. Jacob love it too, he is such an amazing daddy! It is the highlight of my day when he gets home from work and rushes to give her kisses and plays with her. I am so fortunate to work from home full time. It is sometimes hard to find time to do everything in one day, but I just get up early and utilize nap time for work time. So that is us in the last year.

More recently, I am so excited to get back into the fall routine. It is my favorite time of the year. I can't wait for temperatures to cool back down, and start burning candles and having hot tea. It makes me want to bake and decorate too. Awww... I can't wait!

Life groups start soon, which has been such a great adventure. I love seeing what God is doing in the lives of others. It is so unique to come along together and encourage each other outside of the "church", but to just be one as a body. I have been desiring to be more kingdom minded lately. In this time of the new season, it has truly been unlike any other, Jacob and I have been stretched, in our marriage, finances, and with work, not to mention the whole parenthood thing. But the only way to grow is to be stretched, so I am praying for some enormous growth.

Well here is a taste.... hopefully I will keep up on this.... but we'll see.

Whoa Baby........... a lot can happen in six months. The biggest news is the expectancy of our first child. I could not believe how fast it has gone already. We find out the sex of our baby is just 20 days. It has been such a roller coaster ride of emotions. I have always wanted to be a mommy, and have always loved babies. I am so excited to finally have a child myself. Although pregnancy is not what I had always thought it would be. From the everyday, all day morning sickness, to the mood swings, and swollen feet. It is not quite the walk in a park I had thought it was. But hearing the little heart beat is so sweet. And I know it'll be well worth it, when I get to meet my baby face to face.

What has God been up too........ well he has been quite busy in my life. It always seems that in the times of chaos and business he is there and working more than I know it. I am still a little fuzzy on the direction of my life to go. But knowing that he is in control gives me such peace. To know that I don't have to wait to see what my ministry is, but just to look around me and see that people that he puts in my life to minister to, is so amazing. It amazes me even more when I think I am going to be the doing the ministering and he uses that person to minster to me. I cannot even being to explain how faithful God has been. He is walked me through some very scary moments in my fears of this pregnancy to giving me peace on the preparations he is doing on making me a mommy. As much as this baby is growing inside of me, God is doing lots of growing on me too.

Jacob..... the love of my life. It is five years this year. I cannot believe that in less than a month we have been married for five years. It has been the best ride of my life. I know God truly matched us together. I was telling him the other night, I am so happy that we met at such a young age because we have such a history together. It would make me so sad if we didn't meet until now. But God knew. I am so proud of the man that he is. He has such a servants heart. He took a couple of classes at a bible school, and has really began to stir up some new passions in his heart. I know that he dreams big, and serves an even bigger God who can make those dreams come true. I am so excited to share this crazy adventure of my life with him.

Me....... I am so just rested in the Lord. I am excited and a little scared of the next chapter of our lives. We have a baby on the way. Are going to start hosting a small group. And have had some major changes go on at work. Money is always a factor, in that there never seems to be enough. But I know that I don't have to go through any of this alone. I have such a wonderful husband, family and church family, but most importantly I know that God will be there with me. In all of this I have such a peace.

I guess we will just see what the next six months hold for us. Hopefully I will get better at keeping up with the blog too. :)